How My Mom Invented Rap Music With A Fly Swatter

My mom invented rap music back in the 50s. She used to spank me, (often) with a fly swatter. Now, this wasn't just any fly swatter, it was a 1950s model Magnum. It had a thick, wrapped-wire handle and the swatting part was a 6 . 4 inch metal screen with red trim around it. It weighed about a pound. (Everything was sturdy and built to last back then). You could kill large rats with that thing. Getting whipped with it was like sticking your naked butt in a No. 2 washtub filled with boiling molasses.

When mom administered these punishments, she would yell in time with the licks as she delivered them..."DON'T YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN YOU LITTLE HEATNEN"...Whap, whap, whap...right on the beat. She would hold one of my arms and we would go around in a circle as I tried to minimize the force of the blows. It created a very danceable rhythm, and my evasive maneuvers were a precursor to the dance moves of today, an early form of twerking.

Whap, whap, thump, thump. As the fly swatter flew through the air, it made a sound like the swishing swords in a Kung Fu movie. No doubt all she needed was a bass loud enough to stun cattle and it would have been a hit record.

 That's how my mom invented rap music. She was ahead of her time.


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